Tonight I went to Bloomsburg to compete in a 1 mile race to warm up for tomorrow's 5k. I left my house at 4:30 and a trip that normally takes an hour took me and hour and a half. The cop made me park at the starting line but registration was at the finish so I had to walk all the way down there. I registered and someone had to drive me up. I didn't get to stretch or get a warm up jog in. I put my keys in the bag of free stuff they gave me and the attendant told me to put it down and they would pick it up for me. Someone got to it before them so my keys were stolen.

During the run I felt horrible. Since I hadn't stretched or warmed up I came flying out of the start line and couldn't find a pace. I got a horrible chest pain and it took me 12 minutes just to finish. I won a door prize though. I went back and realized someone had stolen my keys. I went to the police station and filed a report. They didn't find anything so I have to go up there tomorrow and get my car.

My friend Pam picked me up and we went linedancing anyway. I had an ok time but Sean ( my partner) wasn't there so I didn't get to do my favorite dance. I got home at 1:30 am and the worst thunderstorm in about 10 years is going on right now. It is so loud it's making me jump...It's a miracle we still ahve power.

Tomorrow I am racing a 5K at Tuscarora state park. I hope to run a 45 because me course time was 47 this week. So far this summer I have taken 6 minutes off my time and I am gonna hope for two more tomorrow.

After the race I am goign to go get my car and then I am going to the Barn Dance with pam. When I get home I am going to get some last minute packing in and get ready for Sunday.

It's almost back to school time, which is sort of bitter sweet. I miss my friends form school but I will miss all the friends I've made here. Plus back to school means a lot of work.

Since my last entry I ran in a 5 K and medaled with a time of 45 minutes...which is sort of sad but not as sad as the beginning of the summer. Yesterday I ran 6 miles without stopping, up a mountain. It hurt really bad but it was totally worth it. Today I ran the corse that we run for high school meets. My time was about 47 minutes which is an improvement from last weeks time of 49 mintues and the week before's time of 53. I am running a race on Friday and Saturday. I am also going line dancing on Thrusday, Friday and Saturday. At least my last week won't be boring.

Since my last entry I have decided to take some action. I've lost 15 lbs and kept it off for some time now. I have kind of hit a bit of a slump but it is ok because from this experience I have learned that I can eat very little ( or what I thought was very little) and be satisfied. I need to start watching more of what I eat thought because I am only 15% finished, which means I have a long way to go.

My father's shoulder surgery was a big success even though there were some unexpected complications. I am taking him to the doctor's tomorrow to have the Novocain feed removed and get the ok to start physical therapy.

I have been running for about a month now and my feet have been killing me. At first the outside of my foot hurt so badly that I couldn't even walk after each practice. I got arch supports for my shoes which have seemed to help a little. I also got very large blisters in my arches making it painful to run or walk. What I have been doing is putting on blister guard Band-Aid and wrapping my foot with pre wrap and tape each time I run. Since I am racing on Saturday and possibly next Friday and Saturday my parents thought it would be good to take me to Aardvarks. Aardvarks is a shoe store that looks at your old running shoe and puts you in a bunch of different shoes based on the depth of your arch and the width and shape of your foot. I am hoping that they will be the answer to all my running problems and that on Saturday I can pick up that pace.

Tomorrow night I am having a party. We are going to swim and make food over a bon fire. The party is sort of a last get together before everyone heads back to school. We are going to do some dancing on the deck too because none of us can ever wait until Thursday.

I mentioned that I was doing some races so I guess I should elaborate on that. The race I am doing this Saturday is a 5 K ( 3.1 miles) in the Lehigh Gorge. It is mostly flat and I should have a hard time. In this race I hope to finish at about 35 to 40 minutes as it is the first race of the season. The race I am doing next Friday is called the Market Street Mile. It is a one mile downhill course. My plan for this race is to run as fast as I can until I feel like I'm going to be sick. I hope to finish under 8 minutes as it is a downhill race and that time would make me feel really optimistic for other runs. The run next Saturday is a 5K and is really hard. This run is held on the Leagues cross country course. Last year when I ran it I left 10 minutes before the walkers and didn't stop the whole time and 3 walkers finished before me. ( They are fast ok!!!!!). My plan for that race is to try to find a new faster pace. If I have to run faster then walk to get a better time then so be it because I need to speed things up.

"A professional writer is an ameture who didn't quit". This is a quote I found online about quitting. Isn't it ironic that I have never quit at anything I have done, yet somehow am not a professional. Is this quote really correct? What if we strive for perfection everyday of our lives and never achieve greatness. Are we quitters if we are not enough? No, we are just simply not enough.

Saul was great when he was with the Lord but when God left him he became insane. I see so many in this world that are sucessful and are not with God. Why is it that they prosper when they aren't living correctly. I know I am far from perfect but I don't understand why I am mediocre. I am not enough to please myself, let alone others and I wonder why. I feel like I am being punished for a sin that I have commited. I know God isn't doing that but that truly is what it feels like.

Why do people that we see every day acheive greatness and we struggle every day to fall through the cracks in society? For example, my sister is very gifted. She is beautiful, fit, a good singer, an excellent runner and one of the best cleaners I know. She hasn't been at Cross country practice in three weeks where as I have run every day. She never practices for her voice lesson and still sounds as good as I do and she recieved all the good genetics. Compared to her I am not as good. My only use to her is Taxi Driver.

I know God loves me and He has a reason that I am just sitting here serving no practical use but I wish He would fill me in cause I want to do something important, something mroe.